Imposter Syndrome.

I’m proud of what I’ve done for myself when it comes to my career. I’ve been working in the advertising industry for close to 20 years. Every position I’ve taken has been a step up from the last. My team has grown over the years with each new role I’ve had. I now lead not only a team of highly skilled individuals, but also one of the largest media clients in our agency. A national brand that has strategic media tactics spanning the entire advertising ecosystem. I have a bachelor’s degree. I have an MBA. On paper, I know what I’m doing. On paper, I’ve earned my seat at the table. On paper, I’m completely qualified to provide my opinion while in a spirited debate with peers. So, why do I find myself in tears, sitting across from one of our brilliant, kind, fun, fiery principals, feeling like a total fake with a crippling fear that she’s going to see right through me and eventually realize that I have no idea what I’m talking about?

Hi, my name is Lea, and I have Imposter Syndrome. 

I work for an amazing full-service advertising agency in Dallas that is full of incredibly smart, strategic, kind, fun people who push me every day to be a better version of the person I was the day before. On any given day, you can stroll through the office and pass colorful conference rooms full of people who are collaborating on amazing projects, including the projects I work on. For the client that I work with, I am a member of what our agency calls a “Client Impact Group” which includes all of the discipline leaders who work on the account, and in this case, consists of me and four other intimidatingly brilliant people. On one particular day not too long ago, the five of us sat in a room discussing the laundry list of current projects our respective teams were working on and I was struggling to focus as I sat there with the following thoughts flying through my brain: you’re not smart enough to be in this room; these people are going to call you on your bullshit in no time; how did you trick them into thinking you belong at this table?

Holy cow, what a load to bear.

Let’s rewind a bit and talk about how this blog post came to be. Several months back, I was at the Hudson News Stand at the Dallas Love Field Airport on the hunt for my airplane staples. Overpriced Smart Water? Check. Sour Patch Kids? Check check. Most recent issue of Harvard Business Review? Check check check. The gang’s all here! Now I’m ready to settle into my cozy exit row window seat and fly to LA. (Wesley and Layla - Auntie Lea’s coming for ya!)

There are two magazines that I love to read the hard copies of. People Magazine and Harvard Business Review. There’s just something about these two publications that I love to hold in my hands. And anyone who knows me well knows that my Sunday mornings are reserved for People and coffee and my plane flights are reserved for HBR and Smart Water.

So there I was, 30,000 feet in the air and cracking open my magazine. This month’s edition? “How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome: boost your confidence, build your credibility, and lead more authentically.” As soon as I read the title, immediately a siren in my head went off. I’ve battled imposter syndrome for years and maybe, just maybe, this magazine can give me some tips on how to make it just a little less miserable. Over the next three hours and twenty-five minutes, I faded into the pages, reading article after article of the most relevant and heart-breakingly relatable content I’ve read in a long time.

A quick history lesson for you. According to this magazine, “‘Imposter Syndrome’ was coined during a study of high-achieving women in the 1970’s. It describes someone who often fosters feelings of doubt and questions whether they deserve their achievements.” Let me say it a little louder for folks in the cheap seats. Hi, my name is Lea, and I have Imposter Syndrome.

Apparently “between 25% and 30% of high achievers feel imposter syndrome, and nearly 70% of adults have imposter thoughts at least once in their lifetime.” The magazine stated that one reason the feeling of being an imposter is so widespread is that society places enormous pressure on people to stifle their real selves. Side note: that bums me out. Let’s go easy on one another; a little bit of grace can go a long way.

To an outsider, these individuals appear to be remarkably accomplished and often are extremely successful leaders. But on the inside, these leaders certainly don’t feel as accomplished. Common characteristics include (but are not limited to) fear of success, fear of failure, perfectionism, procrastination and workaholism. We are often wracked with anxiety and the fear of being “found out” often makes that anxiety worse. We stew over mistakes and unfavorably compare ourselves to others. We focus on negative feedback while dismissing praise.

It sounds a bit cliché, but reading this magazine helped me understand myself a little bit better. Nothing revolutionary, but I certainly collected a few reminders as I flipped through the pages. And if these reminders helped me, maybe they’ll help someone else. So here they are, boiled down into five tips.

Tip #1: Trust your gut. Some of my most successful work decisions have come from me trusting my gut. This one is hard, because trusting your gut implies your gut would know what the right decision is. Just trust it. And then trust others enough to believe that even if you are wrong, it won’t be the end of the world, which leads me to tip number two.

Tip #2: Fix it, learn from it, move on. If you ask anyone on my team what my mantra is when mistakes happen, they’ll tell you – fix it, learn from it, move on. Growth happens when you learn how to replace “failing” with “learning.” Errors happen. People make mistakes. It’s easy for someone with Imposter Syndrome to sit and dwell on mistakes they’ve made; Lord knows I do. But that’s a waste of time and money for both you, the company you work for and the clients you work with. So, get up, dust your knees off and get over it.

Tip #3: Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room. If you for one second think that you will know all the things about all the topics, you’ll drive yourself crazy and will inevitably suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Manage your expectations and stop comparing yourself to the smarty-pants sitting to your left. And by the way, smart and educated do not equal a great leader. I’d pick being a great leader over being the smartest person in the room any day of the week. Care about your people, invest in them and their future and they may just turn around and teach you a thing or two.

Tip #4: Be present. This one is hard for me. I find myself feeling pulled in 27 different directions at any given moment and as a result, I am often distracted when I should be paying attention to the important information given to me. While I don’t have the solve for this one, a couple things that help me: attend meetings in-person if that’s an option, keep my camera on for virtual meetings, and practice active listening. 

Tip #5: Practice authenticity. The most successful people in the world embrace self-doubt and are not afraid of looking stupid or showing emotion. It’s okay to admit you don’t know something. It’s always okay to have “real” moments once in a while. Someone who works on my team recently thanked me for the “realness” (her word) I showed her when I was being honest about the current state of a project. Being a leader often means that you need to toe the line and put a positive spin on an otherwise crappy situation, but practicing authenticity just gives us permission once in a while to deviate from that and people appreciate it.

As we jump into the new year, I hope it brings those of us struggling with Imposter Syndrome some peace of mind. Peace of mind that we are, in most cases, in fact capable and qualified to be in the positions we’re in, that we’re smart enough to actually sit at the tables we were invited to sit at, and that our experience offers a unique perspective that others will benefit from. That’s my wish for me, and that’s my wish for you.

“Imposter syndrome is just temporary memory loss, where you have forgotten all the amazing things about you.”

And here I am on the exact flight (DAL -> BUR), with the exact copy of HBR, that inspired this blog post.