Advice you didn’t ask for.

Once again, it’s been too long since my last post. What can I say? I work nonstop and am tired literally all the time. But, this morning, I hopped on a jet plane, destination: California, and inspiration struck. So, on this early morning flight, with the dimmed cabin lights and the sleepy passengers all around me, here I am, tippy tapping away on my keyboard.

Today’s inspiration came from someone giving me advice I didn’t ask for and it got me thinking. Why is it that people feel the need to give little tips and tricks and advice to others? To spread their knowledge, because they’ve been around the block? Perhaps. To demonstrate that they know more than you? Could be. Or is it simply because people want to give advice to others in an attempt to genuinely make things better, easier, or smoother for them? Yep, I’m going with that reason.

So, here is some advice you didn’t ask for, because reading it may make your life just a teensy bit better, easier, or smoother.

First, it’s okay to admit you don’t know something. This is a big piece of advice for two reasons. First, if you don’t know something and just try to make it up, whoever you’re talking to will smell that bullshit from a mile away and call you on it, and that sucks. But second, for your own sanity, stop the spiral. You know the spiral I’m talking about. The one that happens when you’re stuck on something, don’t know how to proceed and then all of the sudden you’ve been spiraling for far too long and nothing is getting done. That sucks too.

Next up, don’t apologize for someone else getting your order wrong. Now, I understand that this may be a controversial one. But if you politely and accurately order your meal and the server doesn’t write it down and then they get annoyed when you tell them it’s wrong, that’s on them, not you. I was a server once, it’s hard, and tiring, work. But if I’m paying for something and explicitly ask for blue cheese instead of ranch, then I would like blue cheese, not ranch, please. And I’m not going to apologize for that.

Third, it takes less time to do it right the first time, than to cut corners, do it wrong and have to do it over.  Why is this project taking so long? Well, because I’m doing it the right way. Sure, I could do it faster, not double check the numbers, not ask questions if the numbers are wrong but then all that’s going to happen is someone who is better at their job than I am will look at the project, find the things that are wrong, and make me redo it. It’s faster to do it right the first time, trust me.

Finally, never show up to someone’s house empty handed. A bottle of wine, flowers, or a nice scented candle is a lovely gesture to say, “Thank you for inviting me into your home.” Unless that someone is your best friend. In that case, it’s fine to show up empty handed, let yourself into the house using the front door code that they willingly gave you and immediately start digging around their wine fridge. Just be prepared for them to do the same thing to you and if your friends are anything like my friends, be prepared with more than one bottle.

Alright, now everyone’s favorite part of the show, the lightening round. Let’s do this.  

A good belly laugh and a long sleep is sometimes just what the doctor ordered.  

If you’re blocking the walkway or exit, for the love of God, step to the side. Please don’t make me say “excuse me” in a voice loud enough to be heard the next building over, I really don’t want to, but will if I have to.

Use your blinker. Just use it, simple as that.

Pick the hills you want to die on. A constant state of battle is outright exhausting for both you and those around you.

Tell someone if they have something in their teeth, or a booger in their nose. It may be a little embarrassing for both of you, but it’s more embarrassing to discover it later.

Wash your towels, and your sheets, regularly.

If you get in the elevator first, you are now the elevator pilot and it’s your job to hold the door and push the buttons. 

Don’t ask someone why they’re still single. Just don’t.

If you see someone struggling with their luggage in the overhead bin on a plane and you are physically able to help them, help them. You’ll get off the plane faster, and it’s good juju.

Stop telling people that you’re vegan. No one cares. Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

Say thank you. Always. And an apology (when warranted) will go a long way. Basically, have manners. But you’ve heard me say that before.

If you have the means, hire the housecleaner. Worth it.

And most importantly, if you don’t already know them, go right now and learn the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody. Singing it with others is a bonding experience like you’ve never known. Seriously, go. Right now.