Eye Contact and Manners.
“One of the most important things is to see people. The person who opens the door for you, the person who pours your coffee. Acknowledge them. Show them respect.” – Bill Clinton
When did it become a surprise when someone was nice to you? I went to OfficeMax last week to buy myself a notebook, because it has been approximately nine days since the last time I bought a new one and it felt like it was time. (Hi, I’m Lea and I impulsively buy things I don’t need.) When I walked up to pay, a man, likely in his early 70’s, was the cashier. He said “hello,” I said, “hi there,” and then proceeded to smile and ask him how his day was going so far. He looked up, smiled, and said he was having a wonderful day. He then said how refreshing it was to come across someone who was nice.
Sorry, what? That is what qualifies me as nice? Don’t get me wrong, I am nice and make it a point to ask someone how their day is going and call them by their first name if it’s available to me. But it also struck me a bit sad that this little old man felt strongly enough about my niceness that he felt the need to comment about it. When did we stop being nice to each other?
Another time popped into my memory when I was thinking about this post. A while back, while at Starbucks with my dad, he watched me have a very similar interaction with the Barista that I had with the OfficeMax employee. When we walked away, he turned to me and said, “You’re really nice.” Yes, dad, as a matter of fact, I am. (Don’t worry, I know my father knows that I’m nice.)
My niceness always seems to catch my friends and family off-guard. But I get it, because it makes sense. I’m spicy, cynical, sarcastic, and usually pretty hungry, so those things aren’t typically a recipe for kindness. However, those are really just things that make me funny, and that’s what I am to many people in my life — the funny one. I tell stories and make sure to highlight the details that add humor, I seem to always have something weird happening to me and make a point to recount those stories to friends and family in an ongoing attempt to bring them laughter. But, that’s just the way I tell stories, not the way I treat other people.
I get it, being nice isn’t always easy, especially if the person you are interacting with isn’t nice back to you. That’s when I struggle the most. I’ve smiled at you, asked you how you were doing, and you give me a one-word answer, if you give me any answer at all, and don’t make eye contact with me? Rude.
The other element of this conversation that needs to be remembered is the topic of respect. Remember Aretha? Sing a little bit with me….. “R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Take care of TCB.” (I don’t know what TCB is, but you get the point.) Show respect, you’ll get respect. No one owes you respect. Literally no one. So, respect others, and you will get respect in return and man-oh-man, that’s a lot easier on the soul. Being rude takes so much energy; I’m tired just thinking about it.
I’ve written about this before. Assume.Positive.Intent. No one (hopefully) is intentionally trying to make you, your day, or your life harder, so be respectful, open the doors, smile at your baristas and for the love of god, thank someone who helps you. And finally, make eye contact and have manners, it will make you feel better, I promise.
