Dear Generation Z, Here’s My Advice.

Dear Gen Z,

For years, Millennials have been the topic of conversation for tons of reasons, some good, some not so good. We want flexibility and a good work/life balance and apparently that makes us lazy and narcissistic. Authenticity, impatience, transparency, practicality and confidence are sewn into our DNA and you know what, we’re proud of that. And now, most of us are creeping up into two decades out of school and have been working hard for the money ever since. All of the experience we now have means a lot to us and our careers, but it also means something to you. It means we’re your boss.

In my line of work, there are a lot of you guys running around. The Gen Z’ers. The young ones. The fun ones. And that’s all good. But, I feel the need to write you a little love letter to give you a heads up on a few things.

If you’re going to show up to work hungover, your millennial boss knows what’s up. If you miss a deadline because you were “having connectivity issues,” your millennial boss knows what’s up. If you’re sleeping with a coworker, your millennial boss knows what’s up.

Want to know why?

Because we wrote the book on this shit. And guess what. We were better at it than you.

We used to go out five nights a week until 2am, sleep for four hours, wake up, work for ten hours and then do it all over again. And I’ll one-up you even further. We had to actually go into a physical office. Remote or hybrid working wasn’t an option for us.

We’ve gone to work hungover. Hell, maybe still a little drunk from the night before. We’ve slept with coworkers. We’ve missed deadlines because we were screwing around all day.

So, when you’re talking with your boss and trying to come up with some lame excuse for why you missed a deadline, or we couldn’t get ahold of you, or you showed up late for a meeting, here’s my advice to you:

Just be better at it.

If you’re going to be hungover, be better at being hungover. If you’re going to lie about missing a meeting, be better at lying. If you’re sleeping with a coworker you shouldn’t be sleeping with, be better at hiding it.

Now that we’re a little older, maybe a little wiser, we do feel obligated to impart this knowledge onto you. Because this ain’t our first rodeo. We’ve seen it, done it, lied about it, and gotten away with it. And please, for the love of god, stop using these three excuses:

Excuse #1: “Connectivity issues.” Um, no. There is legitimately no such thing. Within a three minute walk from my front door, wifi can be found in the following places: Starbucks, my office building, my apartment complex lobby, two restaurants, and even the HotSpot on my phone. Last time I checked, your apartment is not the only place on this planet that has a wifi connection.

Excuse #2: “Didn’t have my phone near me.” Oh please child, don’t even try. These days our phones are practically plastered to our hands with quick dry cement. Did you know that, on average, Americans check their phone 344 times per day? My eyes bugged out of my head when I read that statistic, but you know what? I believe it. I’ve looked at my phone about 87 times since sitting down to start writing this blog post an hour ago.

Excuse #3: “Food poisoning.” Last time I checked, whiskey doesn’t cause food poisoning. Could it be, just maybe, that the fourth shot of Jameson chased with a pickle back, followed by Coors Light, might be the reason you’ve been praying to the porcelain gods since 4:45am?

If you’re going to take a two hour boozy lunch on a Thursday, we’re good with that. Go. Seriously. Do you. But do not miss your deadline on Friday. That’s when our patience wears thin.

If you’re going to go AWOL from work for a half day because you’re getting laid, we would respect you a lot more if you were just honest about it. And honestly, we probably would have high-fived you.

Truthfully. We don’t care. Enjoy the boondoggle. As long as you get.your.job.done. Don’t make us wonder whether or not you are going to hit a deadline. Or respond to our client’s email. And don’t even get us started on missing random meetings for no apparent reason.

Just be better at it.

Sincerely,

Your Millennial Boss

https://www.reviews.org/mobile/cell-phone-addiction/#:~:text=How%20often%20are%20we%20using,once%20every%204%20minutes!)