Barflies.

Barfly; noun. A person who spends a lot of time drinking in bars. Plural: barflies.

A few weeks ago, two friends and I found ourselves in a dark, no windows, jukebox karaoke, only has regulars, kind of bar, because we all had the day off and boy-oh-boy we needed a drink. The kind of bar that takes your eyes a minute to adjust when you walk into, or out of, a world that is completely different than the one you were just in. After a rough 24 hours for all of us, we just needed a minute to decompress. When I went to the bar to order for us, I ordered three shots and three cocktails. That alone should tell you the kind of day we were having. It was noon. On a Friday. The irony of it all, our next stop was massages at our favorite spa, so we needed to relax, quick.

Once the three of us had a second to cheers and shoot our shots (two shots of Jameson and one shot of Patron, per usual), we had the opportunity to inhale a deep breath and take in our surroundings and to my surprise, the place was relatively busy. Naturally, it got us talking. Who are these people and why are they here at noon on a Friday? I mean, don’t get me wrong, we too were in a dark bar at noon on a Friday, so there was no judgement coming from us, it just made for good conversation. Clearly these people were familiar with one another, but did not arrive together, nor will they leave together. Who are these people? 

As the three of us sat there speculating on who these people were, giving them their own little stories, it occurred to us that no matter what bar you’re in, no matter what time of day or day of the week, these people can be found in the bar. They may not have the same name, or look the same, but they are in fact, the same.

First, the bartenders. There always seems to be two kinds of bartenders at these bars. There’s the woman in her mid-40s wearing a tank top just a smidge too tight and a smidge too low-cut. She puts up with exactly zero bullshit. Then there’s the recovering alcoholic who likes to joke with the patrons and will spend his life tending that bar. He’s jovial and everyone’s friend.

Then there’s the two guys at the end of the bar wearing t-shirts and baseball hats, and the ones that I notice because well, they’re pretty easy on the eyes. A couple bottles of Bud Light sit in front of them, and they are watching whatever sporting event is on the TV above the rows of liquor that have sat there for far too long. Lifelong buddies, maybe coworkers, or even on the same rec league baseball team together.

Let’s not forget about the old guy that hits on literally every woman in the place. I know this guy, because well, he hit on me. Here’s how that conversation went – [Him] What brings you in? [Me] Just a drink with friends before we head to our next stop. [Him] Where’s your next stop? [Me] A spa. We’re going to get massages. [Him] I give massages. [Me] No thank you.

Next up is the group of friends that have been to that bar before but aren’t quite regulars. On this day, we were this group. In our case, this group consists of a married couple and their chronic third wheel (aka me). These friends love a good dive bar, love putting money into the jukebox and love to play darts.

Finally, the girl in the backwards trucker hat, there by herself. She’s putting dollar bills in the jukebox and cracking jokes with the bartenders. My guess is she grew up in bars like this, maybe with a father or mother who loved them as much as she does.

Community; noun. A group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. Plural: communities.

What I love about these people, these regulars, is that they belong to a community. A community that works for what they need in their life and that they are comfortable with. Not your traditional community of course, but a community nonetheless and who am I to tell them it’s not?

Special shout-out to the Fox Fire Room in Sherman Oaks, California; thanks for the blog-post inspiration.

And here’s a picture of me and my barfly besties, taken on the very day this post idea was born.